the waiting...game?

Whoever came up with the phrase "the waiting game," wasn't a very smart person. There is nothing fun or game-like about waiting. I guess if you are one of those people who hates games then maybe it makes a little sense, but not really. 

Yes we are still waiting and my little experiment didn't work. I sort of got tired of having no "real news" to report about our adoption process besides the fact that we were "...still waiting." So I went on a bit of an adoption blog strike. It wasn't totally on purpose. I guess we just have been living life...in a good way. We had a great summer. We all celebrated birthdays, went camping, and got tans. The boys are now ages 5 and 3 with a Power Ranger birthday party in September to make it official. 

Jhett Conley, aka Jaden, the Red Power Ranger - age 3

Ayin Travis (usually dressed as Jack, the Black Power Ranger) - age 5

Here's what's "new" with our adoption process. We submitted our initial international adoption application 2 years ago this November. Two years! We submitted our dossier to Uganda in July of 2013, almost 15 months ago. In November, we will be refiling for our USCIS I-600A, which is the petition to our government to bring an orphan in to the US. It only lasts 18 months, so we get to do it again before it expires. We updated our home study back in June since it was also over a year old. Our home study has to be current within 6 months when we refile for our I-600A, which we can do 90 days before it expires. So that gives us about a 2-3 week window to get our application in. If we would wait any longer, we would have to pay the fee to do yet another home study update....bleh! So, Lord willing, there won't be any delays with any of that paperwork. 

One small (or HUGE) thing we did change in our paperwork was our openness to adopting 1-2 children instead of just 1. That doesn't mean we would definitely get a referral for 2 children (siblings), but it is a possibility! I think it's so exciting and Travis is more on the terrified end of that spectrum...haha. Going from 2 to 4 kids all under the age of 6 would be pretty loco. :) But fun, right?!

Wouldn't it be fun to add another kid or two to this pile? :) Thanks Amie Hansen Photography for the fun photo shoot yesterday!

A good lesson I have learned in all this waiting. Don't put life on hold. It's not fair to the children that are here with us now. Even though I think about and pray for our adoptive child/children daily, life keeps going. It doesn't mean I have forgotten, or that I care any less. It just means that I love my family, I love life, and I have to keep walking forward. I will say I look forward to the day where I can look back at the waiting and see it as a blessing. I already do at some small points here and there. But mostly I am just tired of waiting and don't see the need or the reason God has for it...yet. But just because I don't see the reason, doesn't mean there isn't one. 

de-clutter

I have been cleaning out my closets again this spring. Seriously, how do I accumulate so much stuff in just 1 year! If you are like me and are a "thrower," then you know how much a cluttered house, closet or garage can drive you crazy. Just throw it away, or donate it if you haven't used it in a year (I tell myself).  I just went through Jhett's closet this morning. I came up with 2 large bags of things to save for future children and 1 large bag for the rummage sale. Ahhh...love the feeling of a clean and organized closet. :) I don't think Jhett, being 2, shared the same appreciation.

Don't take offense if you are one of these people, as I am not judging you...but I never understood the point of renting out a storage unit to store stuff that a person never intends to use. Is this a good time to segue into our rummage sale fundraiser? When Travis proof reads this post, he will probably make me take that part out. Love you honey. 

Well we are having a rummage sale to raise funds for our international adoption during the Kingswood Rummages in Sioux Falls the end of April. Our sale this year will be at: 

6601 W 32nd Street

Dates and times:
Tuesday, April 22nd: 12:00 noon - 8:00 pm
Wednesday, April 23: 9:00 am - 8:00 pm
Thursday, April 24: 9:00 am - 8:00 pm
Friday, April 25: 9:00 am - 8:00 pm
Saturday, April 26: 9:00 am - 1:00 pm


How can you help?

• Come shopping! Here is the listing of just some of the items we will be selling: Matching couch and chair, Glass coffee table and end tables, tv stand, childrens clothing, adult clothing, toys, household items, baby stuff, hand-made baby blankets (by yours truly), and much more!

• Bring your donations! You can drop off your donations the day before our sale on Tuesday (April 22) at W Mesa Pass. We could also use any clothing racks to borrow if you have any. Items that tend to sell really well: anything baby or kid related, toys, furniture, brand-name or like-new clothing (especially childrens clothing), collectibles, exercise equipment. But anything works! One man's trash is another man's treasure! 

• If you would like to get your donations to us earlier (if you just want your stuff OUT), I can come pick them up, you can bring them to our house in Tea, or you can drop them off in Travis's office at Embrace Church (labeled RUMMAGE).  I will be borrowing a trailer this week, so I can come get larger donations if you don't have a way of transporting them. 

• If you would like to help price and organize the days before the sale, just let me know. Or if you would like to help during the rummage sale, whether it be for a few hours or all four days, you can email me at jessicarwaltner@gmail.com. 

• If you don't have any furniture, kid stuff, or misc. to donate, we would welcome any snacks, pop, bottled water, or baked goods to sell during the rummage. Anything that is individually packaged would be great. Last year we had gourmet cupcakes and cake pops, special k bars, popcorn balls, cookies and bars. We sold out of all the homemade stuff!

• Pray! We would love your support through prayer. Pray that the adoption process continues in a smooth and timely manner. Pray that the rummage sale is a fun event for all parties involved and that it would be well worth the effort. :)

Check out the Kingswood listings at www.kingswoodrummage.com. They will be available staring April 18th. 

God's Got This

We had our March (monthly) conference call last week about updates for our countries program.  Here are the highlights:

• Our international case worker recently returned from a trip to our adoptive country and she had a lot of great things to tell us about her trip and also some hard things to hear. 

• Referrals are still on the slow side...but if all goes well, there could be 4-5 new referrals in the next 2-3 months. Remember from this previous post, I mentioned we are around number 12 on the wait list. 

• Our agency is working on another partnership with an orphanage that they visited recently. It is over capacity and under staffed. This partnership would take months to set-up, so those potential referrals wouldn't come for another 6-8 months. 

• Court dates are running smoothly for now. Once a family receives a referral, it is taking about 4-6 weeks to get a court date and to travel for that first trip. The first trip is still estimated to take 3 weeks, but most families have been closer to 2 weeks. So that's good news. 

The hardest news to hear, we received the day after our conference call. The international adoption team decided to officially extend the wait time for a referral from 3-12 months to 12-24 months. Yep. I found out about this last night and didn't even tell Travis until today. This sounds weird, but I just didn't feel like talking about it, or saying it out loud. Saying it out loud made it real. 

We have been waiting 8 months, which I thought was a while. But now we aren't even to the minimum point of 12 months...and 2 years...that just seems crazy. I'm not saying we are thinking about giving up...it's not even a question, but I am saying I am a little discouraged. The reason it bothers me is because there are children in orphanages right now... without parents, families. Often without food, medical care, hugs and kisses, being rocked to sleep, being picked up when they cry. 

I wish I could explain all the reasons why it's taking so long to get a referral. Here are a few, and it's more complicated that this, but I'll keep it simple.

• Our adoptive countries negative view of international adoption and adoption in general
• Myths about the fact that Americans adopt internationally because it's cheaper or they don't have the best interest in mind for these children (trust me, it's not cheaper and we love these children dearly)
• It's a pilot program and it just takes time to establish a trusting relationship with orphanage directors
• Background investigations: before a referral is given to a family, each child has a thorough investigation to assure they are truly orphans. This prevents things such as child trafficking or children being sold for money. These investigations take time. If during the investigation, it is discovered that the child is not a true orphan, that referral process is stopped for that child.

I don't have time right now, but I want to say a bunch of things like God's plan is perfect, His timing is too, He is in control...

We'll just leave it at: God's Got This. 

blanket model

It's been a few years since we've had a newborn baby in our family. But now I have two new beautiful nieces born 3 weeks apart. Elsa Janae and Everly Holland. My younger sister's first child, Elsa is was my baby blanket model last week. Isn't she precious?! If you would like to see more pictures of the blankets I have available, you can visit the bringing blankets home inventory page here. Anyone who makes a donation towards our adoption expenses will receive a free baby blanket! Just let me know which one you would like and I can deliver it or mail it to you.

Below is a picture of Everly and Elsa, cousins and sure to be best friends. They are 3 weeks apart yet Elsa is quite a bit bigger. My sister and I joked that when they are cheerleaders together, Everly will be the top of the pyramid and Elsa will be the base. :) Love you girls!

the end of winter?

It's March people! Spring is hopefully right around the corner! We went sledding at Tuthill Park this morning before all the snow melts. It was the first time we went sledding all winter. Maybe the snow was just waiting for our permission to melt...well now you have it winter. Go away.

With spring comes rummage sale season! Probably one of my favorite things about the end of winter...getting outside during the warm sunny days and bargain shopping.

We will be having another rummage sale fundraiser this year. We are getting closer to our goal (a lot closer than we were at this time last year), but we still have a ways to go. Give me a shout if you would like to know specifics on how much we have raised so far and how much we have left to raise (it's pretty amazing, and I am happy to share it!).  

Our rummage sale will be during the Kingswood rummages in April on the west side of Sioux Falls. We have found gracious hosts to let us use their garage for the week. The dates of the sale this year are: 

Wednesday, April 23rd
Thursday, April 24th
Friday, April 25th
Saturday, April 26th

If you have items you would like to donate, please send me an email or facebook message. My email address is jessicarwaltner@gmail.com.

How to donate: 

• I can pick up your items, just send me an email or text. I can pretty much pick up anything that will fit in the back of a minivan. If you have larger items (like furniture), I will likely have access to a trailer sometime in April and can pick up those items then.

• You can bring your large and small items to our house in Tea any time and we will store them in our garage.

• You can bring your small items/bags to church and drop them off in Trav's office for the next couple of weeks. Once March is over, he will be moving to the Tea Campus and probably won't use his office at the 57th Street Campus. (please label your bag RUMMAGE)

• If you don't have any furniture, kid stuff, or misc. to donate, we would welcome any snacks, pop, bottled water, or baked goods to sell during the rummage. Anything that is individually packaged would be great. Last year we had special K bars, popcorn balls, gourmet cupcakes and cookies and they were a big hit! We sold out on ALL the homemade stuff. 

Items that are popular and typically sell well include: baby baby baby or anything kid related, children's brand-name or like-new clothing, toys, furniture, exercise equipment, collectibles. Or anything else, we aren't picky! :)

Our baby blanket fundraiser is also on-going. I have been putting together a few new blankets recently and will post those soon. You can look to see what blankets I have left by clicking HERE. And of course I will have them on display at the rummage sale! 

Thanks everyone, if you would have asked me last year at this time if we would be having another rummage sale this year...I would have said no way. But now here we are, still waiting for a referral for almost 8 months now. It's taking longer than I originally expected, but it's still very much worth the wait and the effort. Our child is on the other side of the world and we are doing everything in our power to bring her home. God's timing is perfect and His will be done.

twelve

We had a conference call with all the families in our program through our adoption agency on Valentine's Day. The news was honestly hard to hear. Back in January our agency was expecting 8-10 new referrals sometime in January or February (a referral is a match to a child). Last Friday we learned that over half of those referrals were either lost or placed on hold. So those referrals are now down to 2-4. It's a little disheartening to say the least. I knew we were on the fence of being one of the families that could possibly get a referral....or maybe next up after the 8-10 kids were matched with families. I was also getting excited to hear about all the families in our program that would received a match. And now the referral situation is back to a trickle. One at a time, a few a month.

We recently found out where we are on the "list" of waiting families....number twelve. 

The word "list" is a little deceiving, because that's not exactly how it works. Families are placed in order of when their dossier arrived in-country...ours did in July. So we are the 12th family to send our dossier, with about 32 total dossiers currently in-country. Does that mean we will receive the 12th referral that becomes available? Not necessarily. 

When a child becomes available to be matched with a family, the top 5 dossiers are sent to the orphanage. The orphanage then picks the dossier (or family) that best matches that child. The remaining 4 dossiers are sent back. And then it starts over when another referral (child) becomes available. So the dossier that's been in-country the longest, number 1, will have the same chance of getting a referral as numbers 2-5. Hopefully that makes sense. So once we would get to the top 5 on the list, we would have a good chance of being matched with a child. Now you can see why I was getting so excited for those 8-10 new referrals they originally were expecting. We could have been in the top 5 and possibly been picked!

No one ever told me international adoption would be so unpredictable and emotional! Oh wait, yes, they did. :) 

So now we wait. Isn't that what we've been doing for the last 7 months anyways? Nothing has really changed...and that's the hard part. I am ready for a change. 

The last 24 hours, families in our program have been praying and fasting together in 1-hour time slots. I signed up for the last slot, which was from 7-8:00 am this morning. In my time with the Lord, I read these verses:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40: 31

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Please continue to pray for the following:

• Families currently traveling or waiting for a court date
• Families waiting for a referral
• For the orphanages (workers, volunteers, children)
• For the first (biological) families of these children

Thank you for your continued prayers and support throughout this roller coaster process. :) 

And as a heads-up, we will be having another rummage sale fundraiser this year during the Kingswood Rummages the end of April . I have a "rummage bin" that is already overflowing! If you would like to donate, please let me know! (jessicarwaltner@gmail.com) I will post another blog about the rummage sale details sometime next month. 

six months

Today marks an important day in our adoption story (or so I view it to be). We have officially been waiting for a referral for 6 months today. Honestly the first 4-5 months flew by. But through the holidays and now that we've been waiting for 6 months...time seems to be slowing down. I just miss her. It seems strange to say because I've never met the little girl we will someday bring home...but I do. I miss her.

What is she doing? Who does she play with? How does she sleep? What does she think about? Is she getting enough to eat? Enough care? These are just some of the questions that run through my mind on a daily basis. 

And winter around here is just hard sometimes. Maybe it's the freezing cold weather that keeps us inside all day or the lack of vitamin D that's making me feel a little down in the dumps some days. Don't get me wrong, we have so much to be thankful for (and are), but I think it's ok to have a hard day now and then. It's ok to feel sad...as long as I don't dwell on the negative. 

This morning I spent some extended time praying for our daughter-to-be. It helps to bring my cares to the One-who-Provides. God knows me. Better than I know myself. He knows I'm getting antsy and He is going to teach me something through it. 

Patience is a virtue, but it's not my virtue. I am pretty flexible, a little creative, easy-going, fairly organized, yada yada. But patient I am not. When we originally entered the international adoption process, we were told the wait for a referral would be 3-12 months. So of course I told myself, "oh it will be on the short end of that range, 3-4 months for sure." Why would I do that? What if we end up waiting the full 12 months? Or longer? I say I am flexible, but 12 months? When there are kids in orphanages right now who need families? Why? I don't know if I will ever fully understand all the ins and outs and red tape of international adoption.

For now, I guess our job is to wait, to pray, to prepare our hearts for this child. It's not always fun or exciting, but for now it's the way it is.