Fun Surprises and Not Fun Ones...

As many of you know, we were blessed with a surprise pregnancy in the midst of our two adoption processes (Uganda and China).  It is our adoption agency's policy that we go on hold until our new baby is 6 months old. At that point, we can pick up where we left off and continue the adoption process again. Unfortunately, a few weeks ago, we found out that our Uganda adoption likely won't be happening.

Let's do a little timeline review of our adoption process so far.

• November 2012: We started the very early stages of the adoption process.
• May 2013: Completed our first home study and started working on our dossier to send to Uganda.
• July 2013: Sent our completed dossier to Uganda and began the wait for a referral (child match). Wait times at this point were 3-12 months.
• July 2014: Wait times increased to 12-24 months.
• July 2015: Wait times increased yet again to 24 plus months - unknown...
• October 2015: Decided to start the process to adopt from China, since we were still waiting for Uganda.
• November 2015: Waiting for a referral from Uganda for 28 months and found out we were expecting! (If I am being honest, I wasn't super excited to be pregnant...knowing we would have to put our adoption on hold) Of course we are both excited to welcome baby boy #3 into our family any week now!
• June 2016: Found out that the President of Uganda signed a law stating international adoptions must be finalized in Uganda (instead of the U.S.) and adoptive families must live in Uganda for 12 months for this to happened. Obviously this was devastating news for us. We just can't put any more time or money into this adoption, knowing that it won't be possible to move our family to Uganda for a year or longer.

I cried, I was sad (still am). It's just a helpless feeling. We knew going into this process that Uganda was a pilot program and that things could change. But you never expect to be 3 years into a process and then just have it end so quickly. We are emotionally drained. We had been picturing a little girl from Uganda joining our family for over 3 years...and then realized that it wasn't going to end up the way we had hoped.
I don't understand it, but I do still have hope in God's plan for our lives and our children's (both biological and adoptive) lives. His plan is better and it might take a lifetime (or longer) to see how it all plays out.

So what now? Right now we are focusing on the birth of baby boy Waltner who is due in a few short weeks (August 8th). Once he is around 6 months old, or sooner if our agency will allow it, we will continue with the adoption process from China. We had only completed our home study for China when we found out we were pregnant. So we will update our home study and then hopefully get started on our paper work (dossier) to send to China. Our agency has been doing adoptions from China for a long time and have a good and reliable process in place. There is a lot less risk for the program to change dramatically, which can put us at ease that what happened with Uganda would be very unlikely to happen with China.  

Well, that's where we're at in this crazy life. We didn't plan it, but someone greater did. We hold fast to His timing and know His grace is sufficient. Thank you to everyone who has supported us in building our family through adoption. In some ways, I feel as though I have let you down. But I understand that unexpected things happen and that control of our lives must be surrendered to the God who loves us and knows the desires of our hearts.

1 Year Ago...

A lot can change in a year.  It doesn't seem like it, but it's been almost a year since I last posted an adoption update. We are still waiting for a referral from Uganda, as things have really slowed in that program. A short overview of our adoption journey so far...

November 2012: We filled out the formal application to start the process for an international adoption in Uganda. (wait times for a referral were estimated at 3-12 months)

March 2013: We started the home study process.

May 2013: First official home study completed!

July 2013: Took about 1.5 months to finish the dossier and sent it to Uganda on July 8, 2013.

July 2014: Waiting a year. The wait was extended to 12-24 months. 

July 2015: Waiting 2 years. The wait was extended to 36-48 months.

September 2015: We decided to do a concurrent adoption! We will keep our paperwork in Uganda current, but we will also begin the paperwork for an adoption in China! 

October 1, 2015: We were officially accepted into the China program!


So what does a concurrent adoption mean? We will pursue both adoptions at the same time. But once we receive a referral in one country, we will go on hold in the other country until the adoptive child has been placed in our home for at least 6 months. So while we will be doing both adoptions, there will be some time between placements. 

Because the China program is fairly established, it's likely that we will receive a referral from China before we will get a match from Uganda. Wait times for China are typically 1-12 months. 

We just started the process of updating our home study specifically for China. Once that is finished (in the next month or so), we can begin work on our dossier (huge pile of paperwork) for China. My first dossier for Uganda took me about  a month and a half to complete. I am expecting to finish this one in well under a month! :)  

These 2 adoptions are treated as completely separate adoptions. Separate paperwork, email addresses, fees, etc. We will likely start doing some fund-raising again at some point...rummage sale in the spring, grant applications, etc. Fun stuff! Not really, but totally worth it for these kiddos that just need the love of a family and the love of our Savior, Jesus. 

Please pray that we are perfectly matched with the child God has for our family and that we can have peace about some difficult decisions we will be making about accepting a match for a child that might have some special medical needs.

We are so excited to share this news with you all! 

the waiting...game?

Whoever came up with the phrase "the waiting game," wasn't a very smart person. There is nothing fun or game-like about waiting. I guess if you are one of those people who hates games then maybe it makes a little sense, but not really. 

Yes we are still waiting and my little experiment didn't work. I sort of got tired of having no "real news" to report about our adoption process besides the fact that we were "...still waiting." So I went on a bit of an adoption blog strike. It wasn't totally on purpose. I guess we just have been living life...in a good way. We had a great summer. We all celebrated birthdays, went camping, and got tans. The boys are now ages 5 and 3 with a Power Ranger birthday party in September to make it official. 

Jhett Conley, aka Jaden, the Red Power Ranger - age 3

Ayin Travis (usually dressed as Jack, the Black Power Ranger) - age 5

Here's what's "new" with our adoption process. We submitted our initial international adoption application 2 years ago this November. Two years! We submitted our dossier to Uganda in July of 2013, almost 15 months ago. In November, we will be refiling for our USCIS I-600A, which is the petition to our government to bring an orphan in to the US. It only lasts 18 months, so we get to do it again before it expires. We updated our home study back in June since it was also over a year old. Our home study has to be current within 6 months when we refile for our I-600A, which we can do 90 days before it expires. So that gives us about a 2-3 week window to get our application in. If we would wait any longer, we would have to pay the fee to do yet another home study update....bleh! So, Lord willing, there won't be any delays with any of that paperwork. 

One small (or HUGE) thing we did change in our paperwork was our openness to adopting 1-2 children instead of just 1. That doesn't mean we would definitely get a referral for 2 children (siblings), but it is a possibility! I think it's so exciting and Travis is more on the terrified end of that spectrum...haha. Going from 2 to 4 kids all under the age of 6 would be pretty loco. :) But fun, right?!

Wouldn't it be fun to add another kid or two to this pile? :) Thanks Amie Hansen Photography for the fun photo shoot yesterday!

A good lesson I have learned in all this waiting. Don't put life on hold. It's not fair to the children that are here with us now. Even though I think about and pray for our adoptive child/children daily, life keeps going. It doesn't mean I have forgotten, or that I care any less. It just means that I love my family, I love life, and I have to keep walking forward. I will say I look forward to the day where I can look back at the waiting and see it as a blessing. I already do at some small points here and there. But mostly I am just tired of waiting and don't see the need or the reason God has for it...yet. But just because I don't see the reason, doesn't mean there isn't one. 

de-clutter

I have been cleaning out my closets again this spring. Seriously, how do I accumulate so much stuff in just 1 year! If you are like me and are a "thrower," then you know how much a cluttered house, closet or garage can drive you crazy. Just throw it away, or donate it if you haven't used it in a year (I tell myself).  I just went through Jhett's closet this morning. I came up with 2 large bags of things to save for future children and 1 large bag for the rummage sale. Ahhh...love the feeling of a clean and organized closet. :) I don't think Jhett, being 2, shared the same appreciation.

Don't take offense if you are one of these people, as I am not judging you...but I never understood the point of renting out a storage unit to store stuff that a person never intends to use. Is this a good time to segue into our rummage sale fundraiser? When Travis proof reads this post, he will probably make me take that part out. Love you honey. 

Well we are having a rummage sale to raise funds for our international adoption during the Kingswood Rummages in Sioux Falls the end of April. Our sale this year will be at: 

6601 W 32nd Street

Dates and times:
Tuesday, April 22nd: 12:00 noon - 8:00 pm
Wednesday, April 23: 9:00 am - 8:00 pm
Thursday, April 24: 9:00 am - 8:00 pm
Friday, April 25: 9:00 am - 8:00 pm
Saturday, April 26: 9:00 am - 1:00 pm


How can you help?

• Come shopping! Here is the listing of just some of the items we will be selling: Matching couch and chair, Glass coffee table and end tables, tv stand, childrens clothing, adult clothing, toys, household items, baby stuff, hand-made baby blankets (by yours truly), and much more!

• Bring your donations! You can drop off your donations the day before our sale on Tuesday (April 22) at W Mesa Pass. We could also use any clothing racks to borrow if you have any. Items that tend to sell really well: anything baby or kid related, toys, furniture, brand-name or like-new clothing (especially childrens clothing), collectibles, exercise equipment. But anything works! One man's trash is another man's treasure! 

• If you would like to get your donations to us earlier (if you just want your stuff OUT), I can come pick them up, you can bring them to our house in Tea, or you can drop them off in Travis's office at Embrace Church (labeled RUMMAGE).  I will be borrowing a trailer this week, so I can come get larger donations if you don't have a way of transporting them. 

• If you would like to help price and organize the days before the sale, just let me know. Or if you would like to help during the rummage sale, whether it be for a few hours or all four days, you can email me at jessicarwaltner@gmail.com. 

• If you don't have any furniture, kid stuff, or misc. to donate, we would welcome any snacks, pop, bottled water, or baked goods to sell during the rummage. Anything that is individually packaged would be great. Last year we had gourmet cupcakes and cake pops, special k bars, popcorn balls, cookies and bars. We sold out of all the homemade stuff!

• Pray! We would love your support through prayer. Pray that the adoption process continues in a smooth and timely manner. Pray that the rummage sale is a fun event for all parties involved and that it would be well worth the effort. :)

Check out the Kingswood listings at www.kingswoodrummage.com. They will be available staring April 18th. 

God's Got This

We had our March (monthly) conference call last week about updates for our countries program.  Here are the highlights:

• Our international case worker recently returned from a trip to our adoptive country and she had a lot of great things to tell us about her trip and also some hard things to hear. 

• Referrals are still on the slow side...but if all goes well, there could be 4-5 new referrals in the next 2-3 months. Remember from this previous post, I mentioned we are around number 12 on the wait list. 

• Our agency is working on another partnership with an orphanage that they visited recently. It is over capacity and under staffed. This partnership would take months to set-up, so those potential referrals wouldn't come for another 6-8 months. 

• Court dates are running smoothly for now. Once a family receives a referral, it is taking about 4-6 weeks to get a court date and to travel for that first trip. The first trip is still estimated to take 3 weeks, but most families have been closer to 2 weeks. So that's good news. 

The hardest news to hear, we received the day after our conference call. The international adoption team decided to officially extend the wait time for a referral from 3-12 months to 12-24 months. Yep. I found out about this last night and didn't even tell Travis until today. This sounds weird, but I just didn't feel like talking about it, or saying it out loud. Saying it out loud made it real. 

We have been waiting 8 months, which I thought was a while. But now we aren't even to the minimum point of 12 months...and 2 years...that just seems crazy. I'm not saying we are thinking about giving up...it's not even a question, but I am saying I am a little discouraged. The reason it bothers me is because there are children in orphanages right now... without parents, families. Often without food, medical care, hugs and kisses, being rocked to sleep, being picked up when they cry. 

I wish I could explain all the reasons why it's taking so long to get a referral. Here are a few, and it's more complicated that this, but I'll keep it simple.

• Our adoptive countries negative view of international adoption and adoption in general
• Myths about the fact that Americans adopt internationally because it's cheaper or they don't have the best interest in mind for these children (trust me, it's not cheaper and we love these children dearly)
• It's a pilot program and it just takes time to establish a trusting relationship with orphanage directors
• Background investigations: before a referral is given to a family, each child has a thorough investigation to assure they are truly orphans. This prevents things such as child trafficking or children being sold for money. These investigations take time. If during the investigation, it is discovered that the child is not a true orphan, that referral process is stopped for that child.

I don't have time right now, but I want to say a bunch of things like God's plan is perfect, His timing is too, He is in control...

We'll just leave it at: God's Got This. 

blanket model

It's been a few years since we've had a newborn baby in our family. But now I have two new beautiful nieces born 3 weeks apart. Elsa Janae and Everly Holland. My younger sister's first child, Elsa is was my baby blanket model last week. Isn't she precious?! If you would like to see more pictures of the blankets I have available, you can visit the bringing blankets home inventory page here. Anyone who makes a donation towards our adoption expenses will receive a free baby blanket! Just let me know which one you would like and I can deliver it or mail it to you.

Below is a picture of Everly and Elsa, cousins and sure to be best friends. They are 3 weeks apart yet Elsa is quite a bit bigger. My sister and I joked that when they are cheerleaders together, Everly will be the top of the pyramid and Elsa will be the base. :) Love you girls!

the end of winter?

It's March people! Spring is hopefully right around the corner! We went sledding at Tuthill Park this morning before all the snow melts. It was the first time we went sledding all winter. Maybe the snow was just waiting for our permission to melt...well now you have it winter. Go away.

With spring comes rummage sale season! Probably one of my favorite things about the end of winter...getting outside during the warm sunny days and bargain shopping.

We will be having another rummage sale fundraiser this year. We are getting closer to our goal (a lot closer than we were at this time last year), but we still have a ways to go. Give me a shout if you would like to know specifics on how much we have raised so far and how much we have left to raise (it's pretty amazing, and I am happy to share it!).  

Our rummage sale will be during the Kingswood rummages in April on the west side of Sioux Falls. We have found gracious hosts to let us use their garage for the week. The dates of the sale this year are: 

Wednesday, April 23rd
Thursday, April 24th
Friday, April 25th
Saturday, April 26th

If you have items you would like to donate, please send me an email or facebook message. My email address is jessicarwaltner@gmail.com.

How to donate: 

• I can pick up your items, just send me an email or text. I can pretty much pick up anything that will fit in the back of a minivan. If you have larger items (like furniture), I will likely have access to a trailer sometime in April and can pick up those items then.

• You can bring your large and small items to our house in Tea any time and we will store them in our garage.

• You can bring your small items/bags to church and drop them off in Trav's office for the next couple of weeks. Once March is over, he will be moving to the Tea Campus and probably won't use his office at the 57th Street Campus. (please label your bag RUMMAGE)

• If you don't have any furniture, kid stuff, or misc. to donate, we would welcome any snacks, pop, bottled water, or baked goods to sell during the rummage. Anything that is individually packaged would be great. Last year we had special K bars, popcorn balls, gourmet cupcakes and cookies and they were a big hit! We sold out on ALL the homemade stuff. 

Items that are popular and typically sell well include: baby baby baby or anything kid related, children's brand-name or like-new clothing, toys, furniture, exercise equipment, collectibles. Or anything else, we aren't picky! :)

Our baby blanket fundraiser is also on-going. I have been putting together a few new blankets recently and will post those soon. You can look to see what blankets I have left by clicking HERE. And of course I will have them on display at the rummage sale! 

Thanks everyone, if you would have asked me last year at this time if we would be having another rummage sale this year...I would have said no way. But now here we are, still waiting for a referral for almost 8 months now. It's taking longer than I originally expected, but it's still very much worth the wait and the effort. Our child is on the other side of the world and we are doing everything in our power to bring her home. God's timing is perfect and His will be done.